Breath of Life
by MaybeWack
Summary: She was looking for a breath of life and to get a dream of life again. ThorinOC


She was small girl when born. It was snowing out, the cold air coming into the home and the child barely breathing and looked as if it could have been a stillborn. The heavy snow covered Middle Earth and the homes built on it. The baby girl cried, wailed out load for a little while as both parents took turns holding her. Her lips where blue and her skin was slightly grey from the cold air. The birth was painful for the mother, the cord was wrapped around the child's neck and almost suffocating her during the process. The doctor had to use a special instrument, looking as if it was to forks together, to get to the baby. The father had cut the cord and while the pregnancy and birth was difficult both parents felt nothing but love. They named their baby girl Lydia, a beautiful name for a beautiful child.

Lydia was born into the race of Humans, a race she felt far away from and grew too loath. She was born into a wealthy family, one that had ties to the government and the community. Her uncle was friends and also part of the leadership of their small town, while her aunt's husband served for the village and protecting them. Her family held a proud name and everyone knew it. However she had always felt like an outcast to them never quite good enough compared to her cousins.

She was an only child, not sibling to compare to, one that her grandmother notably pointed at as her uncle and aunt a few children of their own. Her mother refusing to bare more children, one that had angered her father and grandmother. Her mother defied of what was expected of the women, and the family's goal to have strong children that would take their parents place.

Lydia grew up in a home where the father and mother fought, abused, and destroyed one another. Her father would smash things, a few times she even saw him hit her mother and left a horrible bruise on her face. He cheated on Lydia's mother, had several mistresses but leaving such a husband, regardless of abuse was frowned upon. A single mother with a child was unheard of, but yet that is what Lydia's mother had done.

When she was young her father left them for another women, something that brought shame her mother from the family. The family pitied the mother but Lydia's mother never felt badly about her husband leaving. In fact she was happy, for once the abuse was over and the man would be another women's problem. Her mother never remarried and Lydia grew up to never really know who her father was. All she was told was that she looked like him, having his families good looks combined with her mother's. Her childhood, though fatherless, her mother had done everything she could to give Lydia she needed and wanted.

Lydia hated dolls, they seemed to always shatter when played with and held those emotionless eyes. Her cousin loved them and had a room filled with those horrid dolls that Lydia could not stand. Ironically to Lydia she looked just like one. Beautiful soft curly hair, nice round high cheekbones, and full lips. Her eyes big and blue like the sky and at times would have a hint of grey in them just like her father's.

She was expected like her cousin to wear dresses and one day marry and start a family. She refused both and decided to wear boy's trousers and hating the idea of a man in her life. Growing up without a father, never seeing a man around her mother, Lydia grew to hate the idea of someone else telling her what to do. She had memories of the abuse she watched her mother endure, and how the family told her to just accept it and make him happy. Lydia's youth was already the beginning of her turning point.

The family became to pity Lydia and her mother. She didn't follow their beliefs or customs. As the years went by and Lydia had grown older hatred of her kind and loathing towards her family filled her. Her race, humans, held no beauty, no fulfillment, and their beliefs she felt where weak. To her Middle Earth was not created by some higher power, and going to pray towards such an idea became ludicrous to her. Humans, unlike Elves, where ugly and hideous in her eyes. She wanted to live like amongst another race with more power and less emptiness.

Lydia started imagining herself over a kingdom, being the first women to rule land and sea. She wanted a home where her mother could stay and Lydia would take care of her. Her mother wouldn't have to worry about anything, they would have servants, and a big castle with everything they would ever need. Lydia's dream soon become a goal she would meet.

Then one day her mother had gotten ill. It began with a cold that kept her coughing. Her fingers started going numb and during the winter months her mother suffered. Doctors couldn't find a cure or even a reason as what had caused her mother's sickness. Lydia grew angry. Something had caused her to snap from that day on. She began to be found of Wizards and spells. She researched them, had gotten books, and soon felt a need to practice those spells. Lydia had found a reason for herself and began to believe if she became stronger her mother's sickness would weaken.

As the years went by Lydia had become darker. She wanted to learn about Sauron and Melkor. They had power and that power was all the Lydia wanted and needed in life. She became obsessed that if she could become like them then a cure for her mother would also come as well. She pushed herself away from the world and become knowledgeable in science and the medical field. Lydia had grown to be far more intelligent than her other family members expected her to be.

A man had eventually walked into her life, and during that time a weight was lifted off her shoulders. With what Lydia had known about magic and spells her mother's illness had lesson and for once Lydia began to live. She no longer delved into darkness but thrived on the light and Lydia become the opposite of what she had known. Marriage and children was now a thought for the young women, and she felt a small tug at her heart just thinking of having a baby girl.

While Lydia kept her dark powers from others, delving in magic that other's thought Sauron and Melkor knew, the man in her life had his own. He didn't tell her the thoughts of death and suicide. He didn't tell her at times he would get so depressed he had almost killed himself. It was too late however when one day Lydia had walked into his home and found him hanging.

Something had snapped that day for Lydia. Her dreams and goals where for man she loved, the only man that had shown interest and swore to always be with her. She felt his death, even though suicide, was selfish and blamed him for her anger. She felt angry that her mother had walked out, and angry at her family for lack of support of the years. She felt angry at her home for not helping and gossip rising of her mother.

From that day on Lydia became dark and one by one people began to fear her. The young women became a Dark Lord, the only female to master a level men could barely touch. She destroyed villages by killing their leaders and overthrowing their government. She even killed a king, one that she had fooled and tricked into marrying her just so she could have his land and castle. She hated Orcs and had their heads be put on the display among her walls. She had an army, an army created by her and her powers that fought the Elves and taking portions of their land and killing their people in battle.

All of this all the land and deaths she kept believing would help her mother. For years Lydia thought that if she grew strong enough to have her own kingdom her mother would have gotten better. And as she conquered her mother was also dying. She no longer could move, her limbs always frozen it seemed and no matter what Lydia could do nothing was good enough to save her only parent. Her mother was human, the only one she had loved, and when she died Lydia had no one.

There stopped all battles and killing. The land she took she gave back. She even gave the Dwarves back the stolen gold she had took from them. She stayed away in her castle surrounded by thorns that covered the walls to always be alone.

Through her solitude she didn't age, never a wrinkle or scar to grace her skin and began to pounder what would become of her. One day she left her home. She started to travel Middle Earth needing and wanting to find more of her father. She learned he was not human, that he was a strong man, but had died many years ago. All his secrets with him and his family was also dead leaving nothing to tell their story. Lydia's other family members didn't seek her out and she never looked for them knowing there was nothing to gain.

For a year's Lydia was alone and because of actions many would not seek her out. Then one day Gandalf had walked into her life. He had seen her for what she really was, a young powerful woman that had made all the wrong decisions. The anger she felt towards all races all because he known none would have helped her or her mother. He looked at her and saw the lonesome life she put herself in. Through Gandalf Lydia had redeemed herself amongst the races. Through her knowledge and powers sickness and disease soon decreased, villages thrived and she was feared and but also looked upon as a great leader.

Lydia went back to her castle, stayed in the dark and for once content in her life. For years Lydia had stayed in her home, away from others and felt remorse for her past actions but also pride knowing she had reached her goal.

As the years went on, Lydia had learned the Dwarves lost their home. She had only met the King once, Thorin, when they were both younger and she went to go against his father taking their gold and later giving is back. She had also learned that the Elves did not help them but instead looked away not wanting another war. Lydia had always known the Dwarves greed would one day come back and haunt them.

Then one day, after so many years Gandalf had welcomed himself into her home. Had greeted her and saw that she looked young as ever, never aged once over the years. Her beauty strong and while her clothes had become less modest over the years. Lydia as he looked at her saw her not a young girl but a woman. Ironically to her hatred to dolls, here she was looking just like one. Her beauty and the strength she held within her, taking over the most powerful of enemies. There he knew she would be perfect for what he needed to ask her.

There in this moment is when Lydia's decision will changer her life. "I need your help." Gandalf standing next to her looking down as he took his seat next to her. Lydia kept starring out the big dome windows and looking at her garden. "I know you haven't left here in such a long time, but this is important." Lydia made no movement but began humming to herself, a tune she had learned years ago. "Lydia please." Gandalf knowing she is purposefully ignoring him.

"I already know why you are here. Thorin Oakenshield wants his kingdom back, the one he lost to Smaug." Her voice small, pleasant, and soft tone that barely anyone would believe a women like her had any power at all. "He had a little army I heard, two of them his cousins. Young things I heard. And you want me to help out against a dragon, regain a king his thrown, all because both parties thrive on gold and jewels." Lydia turning her eyes to Gandalf, quirking an eyebrow and giving him a look as if he was joking with his earlier statement.

"Your attitude has not changed, but what I am asking of you still stand. I need your help and so do the Dwarves." Lydia sighing, not wanting to help anyone out, but knowing what Gandalf had done for her all those years saying no to him wasn't an option. Gandalf knew even before he had told her that she would say yes. While Lydia tried acting that she didn't care about the world around her, her past actions had made her care even deeper for other. Her regret he knew would always be with her.

"Thranduil should have helped him. Though maybe because he lost half his land to spiders he couldn't do it." Lydia smiling thinking of the spiders lurking in his land.

"Maybe of you had not put them there." Lydia's smile grew and her soft high laugh gracing Gandalf's ears. He know Lydia had placed those spiders there, Thranduil had angered her and Lydia had decided to get back him. Something she had down previously in her wars when she took land from kings.

"They aren't venomous. And it's not my fault more came, I only but a few there to scare him. Still regardless I'll remove them for him when he apologizes to me and gives back what is rightfully mine." Thranduil had confiscated her staff years ago and when she had to retrieve it he refused her, assuming it would be given her too much power.

"That staff isn't even yours, you had taken it after you killed a wizard." Lydia had high esteem of herself, and while she had done many wrong things her arrogance always caused her to look down upon others. Her faults is something Gandalf need to remind her off, knowing even her past mistakes had also made her vain about her powers.

"And it then became mine." Her stubbornness still there, never wavering. Lydia had no qualms from taking from others and killing is something that has never deterred her from what she needed. If lives had to be lost so be it.

"Lydia I am asking you as a friend to help. The Dwarfs need you and so does their kingdom. I need you to help me." Lydia could never say no to help the man and what he needed from her. Looking at Gandalf Lydia agreeing to help him and the dwarves. "Good, then tonight you will be meeting me at Bilbo Baggins home. A Hobbit." He stood up and left Lydia behind near her dome window.

"A Hobbit? Why in earth would he be at a Hobbit's home?" Gandalf was always and still a mystery Lydia and she swore could never figure the man out and what he wants from her. Standing up Lydia took the precautions for home while she would be away. She had no servants, no town to look over or any family to look after her castle. Lydia knowing how alone she is, made sure the thorns surrounding her castle grew so entry could be possible.

As the hours began passing Lydia dressing in entire she thought might be appropriate. Looking at herself in the mirror with a tight corset, her breast pushing up by it and causing cleavage. She had a small waist with wide hips that made it perfect for her to show off curves with the tight pants she decided to wear. She put on knee high boots with two buckles on them, one around the ankle and the other around the knee that also had a good heel to them. Lydia being a short women, the same height as a Hobbit and Dwarf always wore heels to delude others.

Her hair she kept down, long and blonde reaching to her shoulders, and loving how the strands lay over her bust. Lydia knew for years she was a striking women, something she had used against lustful men to get what she wanted. Stealing their gold and coins became so easy and so was killing them. Picking up her fur coat, sleeves made from leather and lace at the ends touching her fingers, she left her castle behind her.

The sky dark and the world silent around her. Lydia jumping up, leaping in the air as crows came from her body. One by one her body broke into thirty crows flying in the sky, searching for their destination. There where hobbits homes and one by one the crows landing on them surrounding Baggin's home. Their noises reaching the dwarves ears, and Gandalf could only smile knowing Lydia had come.

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><p><strong>MaybeWack<strong>

**XOXO**


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